I've been thinking about all the things I want Syd to know when she grows up or as she grows up and have been trying to develop a list of those things. So, here's my shot at 101 Things I Want My Daughter to Know:
1. Life isn't fair. That one took me a while to learn. If you can learn it from me, you'll be ahead of the game.
2. Not every scratch or nick is a "wound." The only things that really classify as wounds are pretty much limited to military injuries or gang violence.
3. Nuns are nuns, not muffises. Nuns have never been called muffises and I'm pretty sure they never will be. So, never address a nun as a muffis.
4. Follow your gut. Sometimes your head will make you over think and your heart will make you under think. The gut is usually right.
5. It's never a good idea to make effigies (voodoo dolls) of your instructors for a class presentation. While they may be hams who love seeing their photos printed online and in papers, they rarely enjoy seeing it printed on fabric while you discuss Celtic curses. It makes matters worse if you give one to each classmate along with the instructions for how to make more of their own. Just make a non-interactive poster instead -- trust me one this one.
6. Do a double check before you leave the house. Make sure both shoes match, your shirt is turned the right way and none of your clothes are turned inside out.
7. Chocolate gravy is not like regular gravy and is actually really good.
8. Always eat before you go grocery shopping.
9. Make a list of things to do, but don't schedule it in 15 minute increments. It'll drive you nuts when the schedule is just a little off.
10. It's never too early to start Christmas shopping.
11. Knowing the Greek alphabet may not win you a stellar job, but it's good to know, especially in college.
12. You can't get in trouble for telling the truth. So, when the snotty little know-it-all kid at the museum calls you a loser, look him square in the eye and say, "My goodness. You are a rude, obnoxious little boy." Tada! Truth. No one can argue truth.
13.Don't go to college for 4 years to learn to write at a third grade level. The good news is that journalism teaching has changed tremendously and you'll probably never need to fear this.
14. Keep your eye on the donut, not the hole. That's a metaphor. Donut holes are actually pretty tasty and looking at them won't burn your retinas or anything.